Is It Time To Find A New Hair Stylist?

If you’ve been loyal to your hairstylist for years, seeing someone new can feel like a betrayal. After all, your stylist has not only worked their magic on your hair, but they likely have bestie-level knowledge of your personal life as well.

It’s not a friendship, per se, but it’s far more personal than the transactional relationships you probably have with your dentist or your car mechanic. And although no one can deny the client-stylist bond is special, just like any relationship, some are not meant to stand the test of time.

Sometimes, the need to look for a new stylist has nothing at all to do with the service you’re receiving. Maybe your available hours don’t match up, maybe it’s about money, or maybe you can’t bear the commute to the salon any longer, or the search for parking. Logistics aside, how do you know when you and your stylist have reached an expiration date? And then… how do you break up with them?

There are a few easy-to-recognize signs that it might be time for you to try someone new:

You two are having trouble communicating.

You can probably think of a time (maybe even two or three) when your regular stylist didn’t exactly nail the cut or color you were hoping for. Stylists are human after all, and despite the significant advances in hair color technology, there are still certain limitations and the rare chemical miscalculation. In a thriving relationship, you were both able to comfortably acknowledge the misdirection and correct your course.

But if the situation quickly turned into an overly tense interaction, or the lines of communication feel like they’ve been down for quite a while, it may be time to see a new stylist.

Your stylist isn’t respectful of your time.

Everyone runs into unexpected events that caused them to run 10-15 minutes behind on occasion. If your stylist is respectful of your time, they will do their absolute best to notify you of the delay prior to your appointment time.
If your stylist chronically runs late, it might be because they struggle with professional time management or they may be contending with unrealistic expectations from a salon owner or manager. Either way, time is valuable. If you are able to organize your day to be on time for your appointment, your stylist should be able to do the same.

*Please remember, both parts of this equation are equally important – if you arrive late, consider that you would be the very reason your stylist will be running behind for the next person and possibly the rest of the day. Check out additional reasons being on time for your appointment is important in Salon Mishaps – Why They Happen and How To Prevent Them.

Your stylist doesn’t commit to continuing education.

Like many industries, the hair world is always evolving. Color science, product technology, cutting techniques, and trends all change regularly and the most effective way for hair stylists to stay up-to-date is to attend continuing education courses. While all 50 states require a license to practice, most do not require continuing education to maintain licensing; therefore, it is a conscience choice stylists must make.

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If your stylist isn’t staying current with developments in their industry, they are less likely to suggest updates to your look, or know how to approach a trendy look you’re interested in trying. But if they are regularly participating in continuing education, they are going to be more engaged and inspired. Your appointments are more likely to start with a conversation about how your hair is really working for you, options based on the season and lifestyle changes and/or the condition of your hair. Even if you decide not to make a change, these conversations show that your stylist is working on keeping their skills, and therefore your hair, up-to-date.

Your stylist never seems to be available.

It’s one thing if it’s difficult to get an appointment with your stylist because they book out 4-6 weeks in advance – the advanced booking likely means they are great at what they do and therefore have a dedicated clientele. Often this issue can be resolved by simply scheduling your next appointment prior to leaving the salon.

But if vacations are more common than working days for your stylist, or they are often ‘out sick’, or have semi-regular emergencies preventing them from being in the salon, this is a good indication that they are unable to manage their work as a priority. Sad as it may be, your hair might thank you for finding a new, more reliable stylist.

Do any of these situations sound familiar?

No? Yay! You have an amazing stylist! Stay with them and feel beautiful forever. Now, if something hits close to home, you can give your stylist the benefit of the doubt. Tell them what you need and likely they will work hard to make you happy, but if the conversation takes place and you don’t see the change…it might be time to move on. At the end of the day, no matter how close you and your stylist become over the years, you are still paying for a service and if something isn’t working for you, you have the right to go elsewhere.

How to break up gracefully

What do most people do? It’s easy to guess – yep, they ghost their stylist, hope to avoid an awkward run-in, and leave the person they’ve seen regularly for years wondering what happened. The sense of friendship can make clients feel uneasy about ‘breaking up’ but, you might want to consider keeping it civil with your former stylist. One good reason is the possibility your flirtation with a new hair stylist doesn’t go well. Ashley Trimnal of Allure Salon and Day Spa tells L’ANGE readers "When we end a relationship on a positive not, it's easier to get back together in the future. Don't burn bridges!"

Mark Townsend, hair stylist to celebrities like Mary-Kate, Ashley, and Elizabeth Olsen, Dakota Johnson answers the question How Do I Switch Hairdressers Without It Being Awkward? in a letter to BYRDIE readers. He says: “Honesty, while not always easy, is definitely the best policy.” He goes on to say “…gently let your [stylist] know. “Thank you so much for all the amazing hair you’ve given me over the past couple of years. You truly are awesome. But I think I found someone who understands my fringe a bit better” is a nice way to go.”

Townsend also brings up a good point about potentially helping a stylist improve their skills. “As a young stylist in the game, if I had heard this (and trust me, I did), I’d immediately start brushing up on my cutting skills and try to make myself better. That’s what separates the good hairdressers from the amazing ones. The amazing ones are open to learning new things and constantly trying to better themselves.”

All in all, it’s simply about being kind. If you’d rather not get into specifics, or speak to your stylist directly, just send them a little note:

I appreciate everything you have done for my hair.
I’ve decided to make and change and wish you the very best.

Stylist’s perspective: The truth is, a stylist’s work is often very personal for them and it can sting a little when a client they’re close to leaves. But, ultimately, most hairstylists get into the industry because they love making people happy and they probably want what’s best for you and your hair. One less client can also be opportunity to add new clients to the mix, something that keeps stylists on their toes creatively.